<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)鐵西楹聯(lián)協(xié)會(huì)練筆五一一期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（圍繞暑天對(duì)句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，（筇：拐杖）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖對(duì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">月下?lián)]毫寫(xiě)古詩(shī)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳邊披襟覓清風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“襟”應(yīng)仄聲，可“臥榻”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小仙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">皎輪獨(dú)酌憶舊游。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“皎輪”改方位詞“月下”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">松間垂釣洗春心。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松間”改“溪邊”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顧毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">月下尋芳挽舊朋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“舊朋”改“老朋”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">荷間蕩舟采紅蓮。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“舟”應(yīng)仄聲，可“蕩槳”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳下?lián)u蒲敲好詩(shī)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池邊倚榻納微涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新穎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，月下吟詩(shī)品舊章。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“品舊章”類似改“品晚情”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，渚邊立鷺引微涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于乃平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹下橫琴弄古音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">溪邊倚柳覓閑情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“柳”與“花”同類，可“垂釣”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">??</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">樹(shù)下?lián)]毫改舊詩(shī)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“改舊詩(shī)”可“作律詩(shī)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳邊橫笛引清風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹下橫琴送晚風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">池中泛霧沐香荷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">盧寶春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳下鋪箋寫(xiě)古詩(shī)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">竹間聽(tīng)雨覓清歡?。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄒麗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">月下尋煙度老生</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“老生”主要指中國(guó)傳統(tǒng)戲曲中扮演中老年男性角色的行當(dāng)，可“月下觀屏賞老生”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">藤中把盞問(wèn)清天。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（紅米）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳下?lián)崆巽迩屣L(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳間唱曲享閑情</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">柳下觀棋品嫩茶。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">松前脫笠詠薰風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韓秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">樹(shù)下摘桑憶舊朋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">窗前望月品清輝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">張勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間把盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">膝上橫琴奏古音。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">溪邊垂釣尋閑情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“尋閑情”犯三連平，類似改“寄閑情”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陳永久</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小結(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">參考對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花間洗盞嘗新酒，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">月下吟詩(shī)品晚情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 這兩句詩(shī)描繪了一幅閑適雅致的文人生活圖景，頗具古典意境美：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 意象營(yíng)造"花間"與"月下"形成時(shí)空對(duì)仗，前者是晝間花影婆娑的幽靜，后者是夜幕初臨的澄明。新酒與晚晴皆為短暫易逝之物，暗含及時(shí)行樂(lè)的生命意識(shí)。盞中酒與詩(shī)中情相互映照，物質(zhì)與精神享受兼?zhèn)洹?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 動(dòng)詞煉字"洗盞"動(dòng)作細(xì)致，暗示對(duì)品酒的鄭重；"嘗"字體現(xiàn)新鮮感而非豪飲，符合文人雅士風(fēng)度。"吟詩(shī)"與"品"字相呼應(yīng)，將晚晴這一自然現(xiàn)象轉(zhuǎn)化為可細(xì)味的審美對(duì)象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">花下扶筇尋爽氣，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">藤中移席避斜陽(yáng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 1. 意境營(yíng)造**</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上聯(lián)以“花下”開(kāi)篇，點(diǎn)明環(huán)境之幽美，“扶筇”（拄竹杖）暗含文人雅士的從容姿態(tài)，“尋爽氣”則傳遞出對(duì)清涼自然的主動(dòng)追尋，整體畫(huà)面清雅靈動(dòng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">下聯(lián)延續(xù)閑適基調(diào)，“藤中”進(jìn)一步渲染草木蔥蘢之境，“移席”這一動(dòng)作生動(dòng)體現(xiàn)隨性而居的灑脫，“避斜陽(yáng)”既寫(xiě)實(shí)（遮陽(yáng)），又隱喻對(duì)塵世喧囂的疏離。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 通過(guò)“花”“藤”“筇”“席”等意象，構(gòu)建出一個(gè)蔭涼靜謐的夏日棲居場(chǎng)景，意境和諧，頗具《世說(shuō)新語(yǔ)》中“林下風(fēng)氣”的魏晉風(fēng)骨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 藝術(shù)手法動(dòng)靜結(jié)合：“扶筇”“移席”為動(dòng)態(tài)細(xì)節(jié)，“花下”“藤中”為靜態(tài)場(chǎng)景，動(dòng)靜相生，畫(huà)面鮮活。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">虛實(shí)相映：實(shí)寫(xiě)避暑行為，虛寫(xiě)超然心境，如“尋爽氣”既指涼風(fēng)，亦隱喻精神上的澄明。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">對(duì)仗工穩(wěn)：“花下”對(duì)“藤中”（植物方位），“扶筇”對(duì)“移席”（動(dòng)作器具），“尋”對(duì)“避”（動(dòng)詞呼應(yīng)），工整而不失自然。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)鐵西楹聯(lián)協(xié)會(huì)練筆五一二期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（圍繞暑天對(duì)句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，跟帖對(duì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">照水紅蕖細(xì)細(xì)香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">閑傍山亭賞嶺云。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陳永久</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">點(diǎn)水蜻蜓款款飛。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼撲風(fēng)襟當(dāng)野荷。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“當(dāng)”可“遮”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顧毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">坐水青蓮面面觀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">閑品涼瓜臥柳風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“臥”可“沐”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，照水青蛙處處鳴。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“照水”可“戲水”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，涼傍山窗聽(tīng)竹風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于乃平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跳水金魚(yú)陣陣歡。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">閑倚風(fēng)窗數(shù)夜星。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">爽借松亭弄扇風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新穎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">照水翠衣恰恰搖。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“翠”應(yīng)平聲，不犯孤平。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">慵靠軒窗讀西廂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“西”應(yīng)仄聲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">盧寶春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">照水綠荷處處開(kāi)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“綠”應(yīng)平聲，可“青荷”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生山牖聽(tīng)松風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“松”應(yīng)仄聲可“柳風(fēng)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">立地幼苗刻刻搖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“幼”應(yīng)平聲，不犯孤平。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">爽入林園聽(tīng)鳥(niǎo)音</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（紅米）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">點(diǎn)水蜻蜓款款飛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼沁風(fēng)廊坐竹軒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“竹軒”用竹子建的房屋，“坐”可“臥”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">穿林黃鶯恰恰啼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“林”應(yīng)仄聲，可“蕩柳”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼對(duì)溪流臥竹軒</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小仙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跳水紅魚(yú)處處游</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼坐竹亭喝碗茶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">映水紅蓮處處開(kāi)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">閑傍亭軒聽(tīng)雨風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“雨風(fēng)”并列結(jié)構(gòu)名詞，改偏正結(jié)構(gòu)名詞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">照水紅蓮細(xì)細(xì)觀。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼借虛窗聽(tīng)竹風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄒麗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">14</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">逐浪銀魚(yú)每每來(lái)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">閑立漁村浴野風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韓秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">15</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">點(diǎn)水蜻蜓刻刻飛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“刻刻”時(shí)間短暫，可“款款”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼坐塘堤沐柳風(fēng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">張勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小結(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">參考對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">照水紅蕖細(xì)細(xì)香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 這兩句蘇軾的《鷓鴣天·林?jǐn)嗌矫髦耠[墻》，全詞如下：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">林?jǐn)嗌矫髦耠[墻，亂蟬衰草小池塘。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">翻空白鳥(niǎo)時(shí)時(shí)見(jiàn)，照水紅蕖細(xì)細(xì)香。村舍外，古城旁，杖藜徐步轉(zhuǎn)斜陽(yáng)。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">殷勤昨夜三更雨，又得浮生一日涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 意象清新： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “翻空白鳥(niǎo)”寫(xiě)白鳥(niǎo)在空中翻飛的動(dòng)態(tài)，“照水紅蕖”描繪紅荷映水的靜美，“細(xì)細(xì)香”以嗅覺(jué)點(diǎn)綴，虛實(shí)結(jié)合，展現(xiàn)夏日田園的生機(jī)與幽雅。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 心境閑適： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 蘇軾被貶黃州時(shí)作此詞，雖處逆境，卻以豁達(dá)之心觀物。白鳥(niǎo)、紅蕖的明快色彩，暗含他對(duì)自然之美的珍視與隨遇而安的灑脫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格： </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 對(duì)仗工整（“翻空”對(duì)“照水”，“白鳥(niǎo)”對(duì)“紅蕖”），用字簡(jiǎn)練，畫(huà)面感極強(qiáng)，體現(xiàn)蘇軾“詩(shī)中有畫(huà)”的特點(diǎn)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 深層意蘊(yùn)：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“浮生一日涼”透露出對(duì)人生短暫的感慨，但“殷勤”二字又將夜雨擬人化，表達(dá)對(duì)自然饋贈(zèng)的欣然接納，暗含超然物外的哲思。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱依水檻看池月，靜對(duì)溪流臥竹軒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 這兩句詩(shī)描繪了一幅寧?kù)o閑適的夏夜納涼圖，展現(xiàn)了文人雅士超脫塵俗的意境：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 意象營(yíng)造</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"熱依水檻"與"靜臥竹軒"形成動(dòng)靜相映：前者以身體倚欄的親水姿態(tài)表現(xiàn)暑熱中的清涼追求，后者以高士臥軒的造型傳遞心靜自涼的境界。"池月"與"溪流"的景物組合，構(gòu)成上下交映的空間美感，月光倒映池中，溪聲縈繞竹軒，視聽(tīng)雙重享受。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 煉字藝術(shù)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"依"字既寫(xiě)實(shí)（物理倚靠）又寫(xiě)意（情感依附），"對(duì)"字含默然相契之趣。"看"月與"臥"軒的慢動(dòng)作，暗示時(shí)間在閑適心境中的緩慢流動(dòng)。尤其"靜對(duì)"二字，將流水這一動(dòng)態(tài)景物與靜態(tài)觀賞形成張力，深得鬧中取靜之妙。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 意境特征</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">延續(xù)了王維"明月松間照，清泉石上流"的禪意，但更突出主觀體驗(yàn)。熱而不躁（依水納涼），動(dòng)而不喧（溪流伴臥），體現(xiàn)"心遠(yuǎn)地自偏"的隱逸情懷。竹軒意象暗含君子品格，池月溪流則象征澄明心境。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)鐵西楹聯(lián)協(xié)會(huì)練筆五一三期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（圍繞暑天對(duì)句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖對(duì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一蟬鳴夏出林間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“出”可“隱”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">舟橫漁叟釣蘆花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顧毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群魚(yú)聚影戲湖中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“聚影”可覓食</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)微雨燕剪荷香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新穎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千荷綻蕊映湖中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云閑白鷺立灘頭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛哥</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千峰疊翠隱云中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)微雛鷺立莎根?。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄒麗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群蟬鼓噪鬧枝頭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“鼓噪”動(dòng)詞，改動(dòng)賓結(jié)構(gòu)，可“奏樂(lè)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)來(lái)嬌燕掠荷香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小仙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群蜂乘夏吻花心。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“乘夏”改“展翅”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳬翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天藍(lán)白鶴立松陰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">數(shù)蟬噪午鬧庭前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)斜雨燕剪萍花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“萍花”浮萍花很小，可對(duì)大些花</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群雞垂翅喘籬根。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)微小雀轉(zhuǎn)蘭叢。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韓秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千山著素隱云間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿母鳧翻荷葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)輕雛燕掠柳絲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陳永久</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千帆掠影沒(méi)霞中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)疏雛鷺憩沙頭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于乃平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千帆隱跡入波中。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">霧薄歸鳥(niǎo)宿竹梢。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">盧寶春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千魚(yú)聚會(huì)戲荷旁。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“聚會(huì)”動(dòng)詞，可“開(kāi)會(huì)聚荷旁”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)輕錦鯉戲荷花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">張勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千蟬振翅噪林間。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">香濃黃狗臥花心。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墨玉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小結(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">參考對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百鳥(niǎo)息音藏樹(shù)里，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">群魚(yú)吐泡匿池中</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 這副對(duì)聯(lián)以自然景物為題材，通過(guò)生動(dòng)的意象展現(xiàn)了靜謐的意境：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、意象運(yùn)用</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 視覺(jué)設(shè)計(jì)："百鳥(niǎo)藏樹(shù)"與"群魚(yú)匿池"形成立體空間構(gòu)圖，上聯(lián)寫(xiě)林間，下聯(lián)寫(xiě)水下，符合對(duì)聯(lián)"天地對(duì)應(yīng)"的傳統(tǒng)布局。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 動(dòng)態(tài)捕捉："息音""吐泡"的動(dòng)詞運(yùn)用精妙，以聲襯靜（鳥(niǎo)收聲）、以動(dòng)寫(xiě)靜（魚(yú)吐泡），暗合"蟬噪林逾靜"的表現(xiàn)手法。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 生物象征：鳥(niǎo)類與魚(yú)類的對(duì)應(yīng)體現(xiàn)"海闊憑魚(yú)躍，天高任鳥(niǎo)飛"的傳統(tǒng)意象關(guān)聯(lián)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水滿乳鳧翻藕葉，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)疏雛燕拂桐花。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（拂：平水韻仄聲）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 1. 意象選取精當(dāng)，動(dòng)靜相宜 "水滿乳鳧翻藕葉"以水塘為背景，"水滿"暗示豐盈，"乳鳧"（幼鴨）的"翻"字活現(xiàn)其嬉戲之態(tài)，藕葉的搖動(dòng)更添動(dòng)態(tài)趣味。 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> "風(fēng)疏雛燕拂桐花"轉(zhuǎn)向空中視角，"風(fēng)疏"寫(xiě)微風(fēng)輕柔，"拂"字既顯雛燕學(xué)飛的笨拙可愛(ài)，又帶出桐花飄落的輕盈。一動(dòng)一靜間，空間層次分明。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 煉字精準(zhǔn)，畫(huà)面立體** </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"翻"字兼含力度與童趣，刻畫(huà)小鴨蹼掌撥水的生動(dòng)；"拂"字輕靈，既寫(xiě)燕子掠風(fēng)的姿態(tài)，又暗含桐花被氣流帶動(dòng)的微妙。二字使畫(huà)面具有動(dòng)態(tài)連貫性。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 色彩與季節(jié)感藕葉的濃綠、桐花的淺紫（或白）構(gòu)成清新色調(diào)，乳鳧的嫩黃絨毛與雛燕的烏黑羽翼點(diǎn)綴其間。不直接寫(xiě)夏，卻通過(guò)"水滿""藕葉""桐花"等典型物候傳遞初夏氣息。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)鐵西楹聯(lián)協(xié)會(huì)練筆五一四期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（圍繞暑天對(duì)句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">跟帖對(duì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生自室空。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">幾縷茶煙浸透涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“茶煙”燒茶煮水、泡茶時(shí)產(chǎn)生的煙，“涼”邏輯不嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，可“悠”等</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顧毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生賴水幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一枕荷風(fēng)吹過(guò)涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新穎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，涼生因室幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，半榻清風(fēng)吹過(guò)涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于乃平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)來(lái)隨扇輕?。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“輕”欠妥，類似“涼來(lái)因扇揺”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">幾樹(shù)蟬聲唱破幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄒麗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生自竹幽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半畝荷風(fēng)掃盡炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“炎”單獨(dú)用時(shí)少，多組詞用</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風(fēng)吹自雨來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“風(fēng)吹”改“涼生”工穩(wěn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半嶺云煙蕩過(guò)涼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生賴氣清。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邏輯不夠嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，“氣清”空氣清新，不一定涼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一枕荷風(fēng)送來(lái)涼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“來(lái)”應(yīng)仄聲，可“送到”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小仙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生任意閑</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">邏輯不夠嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?？筛摹耙蚓秤摹?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一岸荷香帶進(jìn)涼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生借水驅(qū)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">半畝池塘跳入涼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">過(guò)于直白點(diǎn)，可“蕩去涼”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">張勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生任夢(mèng)幽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“任夢(mèng)”可“因夢(mèng)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一扇清風(fēng)送入涼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]“清風(fēng)”可“風(fēng)聲”更工穩(wěn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">盧寶春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼來(lái)賴雨狂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一院花風(fēng)透入香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韓秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生覺(jué)夢(mèng)輕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一枕泉聲送爽來(lái)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“送爽來(lái)”改“送到?jīng)觥?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陳永久</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小結(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">參考對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熱散由心靜，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">涼生為室空。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一、意境營(yíng)造</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上聯(lián)以"熱散"起筆，卻不著眼于物理降溫，而用"心靜"揭示禪意，暗合"心靜自然涼"的東方哲學(xué)。下聯(lián)"涼生"呼應(yīng)上聯(lián)，以"室空"構(gòu)建雙重意境：既寫(xiě)居所通透生涼，又隱喻心境澄明自適。一內(nèi)一外，構(gòu)筑出物質(zhì)與精神的雙重清涼境界。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、藝術(shù)手法</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 對(duì)仗工巧："熱散"對(duì)"涼生"，"心靜"對(duì)"室空"，動(dòng)詞與偏正結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)絲合縫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 煉字精妙："散"字動(dòng)態(tài)傳神，"生"字化靜為動(dòng)，賦予涼意生命感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3. 虛實(shí)相生：熱涼為實(shí)象，心室含虛境，符合傳統(tǒng)美學(xué)"虛實(shí)相生"之道。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一扇風(fēng)聲送到?jīng)觥?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 動(dòng)靜相宜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上聯(lián)"滿窗樹(shù)影移開(kāi)熱"以視覺(jué)切入，"移"字賦予樹(shù)影動(dòng)態(tài)，仿佛濃蔭主動(dòng)為人驅(qū)散暑氣；下聯(lián)"一扇風(fēng)聲送到?jīng)?quot;從聽(tīng)覺(jué)落筆，"送"字?jǐn)M人化處理，將無(wú)形的風(fēng)化作殷勤的送涼使者。一動(dòng)一靜間，熱浪消退的過(guò)程宛在目前。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 虛實(shí)相生</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"樹(shù)影""風(fēng)聲"為實(shí)景，"熱""涼"屬體感，詩(shī)人用"移開(kāi)""送到"兩個(gè)動(dòng)詞搭建起物象與感知的橋梁。尤其是"移開(kāi)熱"的搭配突破常規(guī)語(yǔ)法，與李清照"守著窗兒，獨(dú)自怎生得黑"的"黑"字用法異曲同工，新而不怪。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 數(shù)字妙用</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">"滿窗"與"一扇"形成巧妙對(duì)應(yīng)，前者展現(xiàn)濃蔭覆窗的庇護(hù)感，后者突出單扇窗納風(fēng)的精準(zhǔn)，量詞的運(yùn)用使畫(huà)面更具空間層次。這種以小見(jiàn)大的手法，令人想起楊萬(wàn)里"樹(shù)陰照水愛(ài)晴柔"的細(xì)膩觀察。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">簡(jiǎn)評(píng)鐵西楹聯(lián)協(xié)會(huì)練筆五一五期</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（圍繞建軍節(jié)對(duì)句）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 跟帖對(duì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">忠肝義膽壯河山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">前四個(gè)字“合掌”之嫌，改“金戈鐵馬” </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百萬(wàn)星火亮徹天。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“星火”應(yīng)平聲，類似改“百萬(wàn)軍車亮似龍”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">顧毓昕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">忠肝義膽衛(wèi)山河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">前四個(gè)字上下聯(lián)都描寫(xiě)軍人品格，“合掌”之嫌，改聯(lián)中自對(duì)句“枕戈待旦” </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百萬(wàn)軍民堅(jiān)似鋼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">耿新穎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">3</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豪情壯志亮云天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">三大軍規(guī)硬若石</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">（大智若愚）</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">4</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金戈鐵馬定江山 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千古軍魂碧似天? 。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“碧“軍魂”的常規(guī)用法** </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> “軍魂”通常指軍隊(duì)的精神內(nèi)核，如忠誠(chéng)、勇敢、犧牲等抽象品質(zhì)，多用“剛毅”“不朽”“永存”等詞修飾（如“軍魂永駐”“鐵血軍魂”）。而“碧似天”形容顏色或景象（如“湖水碧似天”），“軍魂”的象征意義難以直接對(duì)應(yīng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鄒麗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">5</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雄關(guān)漫道固乾坤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“固乾坤”改“護(hù)春秋”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百萬(wàn)軍民硬似鋼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“硬”改“堅(jiān)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">宋云霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">6</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金戈鐵馬護(hù)山河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬(wàn)千勁旅勢(shì)若虹。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">前四個(gè)字平仄不對(duì)，改“千萬(wàn)雄師”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蘇澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">7</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">豪情壯志寫(xiě)春秋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千萬(wàn)軍心固若磐</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“軍心”改“雄師”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">醉牛歌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">8</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">忠肝義膽衛(wèi)江山。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上下聯(lián)前四個(gè)字都是描寫(xiě)軍人品格“合掌”之嫌，改“枕戈待旦”，屬于聯(lián)中自對(duì)句。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">四海金甌固若磐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">盧寶春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">9</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">精忠浩氣壯山河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“血，心，氣”同類，與“精忠”不同類，不工穩(wěn)?？筛穆?lián)中自對(duì)“盡忠報(bào)國(guó)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百萬(wàn)軍民堅(jiān)若磐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">韓秀珍</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">10</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， 忠肝義膽耀山河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 前面四個(gè)字都是描寫(xiě)軍人品格，有合掌之嫌。類似改“功勛戰(zhàn)績(jī)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， 百萬(wàn)龍師壯若虹。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">“龍師”指伏羲氏以龍命名官職。改“雄師”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于乃平</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">11</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">忠肝義膽耀乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">前四個(gè)字都是描寫(xiě)軍人品格，合掌之嫌，類似改“功勛戰(zhàn)績(jī)”</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">萬(wàn)千將士勇若鋼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">上聯(lián)新韻，按新韻對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">陳永久</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">12</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金戈鐵馬打江山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]和平時(shí)期，“打”可“護(hù)”，更寬泛</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">百萬(wàn)雄兵堅(jiān)若鋼</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">[玫瑰]</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">張勇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">13</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小結(jié)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">參考對(duì)句</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">A</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鐵血丹心昭日月， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">金戈銳甲護(hù)山河。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 一、意象運(yùn)用</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. "鐵血丹心"與"金戈銳甲"形成剛?cè)岵?jì)的意象組合，既表現(xiàn)赤誠(chéng)之心又展現(xiàn)實(shí)戰(zhàn)武裝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. "昭日月"與"護(hù)山河"構(gòu)成時(shí)空對(duì)仗，日月象征永恒，山河代表疆域，拓展了意境維度</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二、修辭手法</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 雙關(guān)運(yùn)用："鐵血"既指武器又喻剛毅，"丹心"既寫(xiě)顏色又表忠誠(chéng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 擬人化處理：將兵器賦予"護(hù)"的主動(dòng)性，強(qiáng)化了守衛(wèi)者的形象。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">B</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">八一旗幟紅如火， </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千萬(wàn)官兵固似磐。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"> 這副聯(lián)以“八一旗幟”為意象，歌頌了中國(guó)人民解放軍的堅(jiān)定與忠誠(chéng)，語(yǔ)言凝練，富有感染力：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">1. 意象運(yùn)用“紅如火”以鮮明的色彩與熾熱的比喻，既點(diǎn)明八一軍旗的視覺(jué)特征，又暗喻革命精神的蓬勃不息；“固似磐”則通過(guò)“磐石”的堅(jiān)硬質(zhì)感，將軍隊(duì)不可撼動(dòng)的意志具象化。兩個(gè)比喻一動(dòng)態(tài)一靜態(tài)，相得益彰。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">2. 語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格聯(lián)句簡(jiǎn)潔有力，七言句式符合傳統(tǒng)軍旅詩(shī)的鏗鏘節(jié)奏?！扒f(wàn)官兵”的夸張筆法突出軍隊(duì)規(guī)模之浩蕩，而“固”字單字成意，凝練傳遞出堅(jiān)如鋼鐵的士氣。</span></p>