<p class="ql-block">@所有人</p><p class="ql-block">華夏微型詩(shī)社第549期周周發(fā)同題創(chuàng)作開(kāi)始了。</p><p class="ql-block"> 歡迎詩(shī)友們參與微型詩(shī)寫(xiě)作!請(qǐng)?jiān)缛諛?gòu)思打磨!</p><p class="ql-block">備注:</p><p class="ql-block">1、投稿、收稿時(shí)間:</p><p class="ql-block">7月8日晚上7點(diǎn)——10點(diǎn)。</p><p class="ql-block">2、每人選投一首微型詩(shī)。</p><p class="ql-block">3、請(qǐng)單獨(dú)發(fā)帖,不要自行接龍,由巴山一松老師統(tǒng)一收稿。</p><p class="ql-block">4、稿件選編到美篇,并由詩(shī)社老師予以點(diǎn)評(píng)。</p><p class="ql-block">5、本期題目:</p><p class="ql-block">①《苔痕》 </p><p class="ql-block">②《蜂箱》</p><p class="ql-block">6.出題老師:紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)</p><p class="ql-block">7、交流時(shí)可交流兩首,投稿時(shí)只選投一首,收稿只收一首,點(diǎn)評(píng)也只點(diǎn)評(píng)一首。</p><p class="ql-block">8.優(yōu)秀作品推薦“微詩(shī)坊”。</p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蘇有明/陜西</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">石頭縫里站崗</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">被踩千遍也不走</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">卑微的綠星星</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 白描的寫(xiě)法,基本寫(xiě)出了苔痕的特點(diǎn),也展現(xiàn)了其中的精神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/書(shū)蟲(chóng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)雨自渡,跋涉孤獨(dú)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">任歲月榮枯,踏石有印</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">畫(huà)一抹夢(mèng)的圖騰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 風(fēng)雨、跋涉、榮枯、圖騰,有實(shí)寫(xiě),有引申,表達(dá)出題旨的精氣神。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古道白楊</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮濕的語(yǔ)言</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">漫過(guò)深巷青石板</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">詩(shī)意 纏綿多情江南</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 語(yǔ)言、詩(shī)意,前后呼應(yīng),詩(shī)意纏綿,青石板也顯出了一些曼妙的詩(shī)情。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/趙正霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">向天 尋根 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮濕的心 借一米陽(yáng)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">綻放出生命的底色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句讓人有驚艷感;二句一米陽(yáng)光“借”得妙;尾句提升,“底色”雙關(guān)”,寓意好。成功的一首??</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/森林雨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">年久的記憶,生長(zhǎng)出蘚吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">光陰覆綠 在等待一場(chǎng)雨 —— 潤(rùn)澤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 年久的記憶,讓作品有了縱深感;</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/吉新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">坐落在山野的家</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不需太大</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">我只在意,每天能看到你</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 這個(gè)“山野的家”讓人浮想聯(lián)翩,好身手!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/丹霞</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂之家</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">王國(guó)里有王有臣有民</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">是真正的江湖和社會(huì)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 是江湖和社會(huì),但也有饞人的甜蜜。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/陳果果</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">根扎在雨吻過(guò)的石階上</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">綠灑在裂縫里</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">黙數(shù) 腳印的年輪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">紫塞長(zhǎng)風(fēng)簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 有鋪墊,有過(guò)渡,有提升,更有曼妙的詩(shī)意,“吻”“灑”“數(shù)”動(dòng)感十足,美不勝收!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/春天的故事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">方寸間藏著智慧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小精靈穿梭,花粉釀成蜜</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">甜了你我他</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 贊美了蜜蜂的智慧與奉獻(xiàn)精神!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/古墨</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">沿著,時(shí)間炸裂的縫隙</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">填補(bǔ)傷口</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">愈合處,正在結(jié)痂出一層綠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔痕之前,不知道詩(shī)人經(jīng)歷了怎樣炸裂的故事,煙消云散之后,"正在結(jié)痂出一層綠",這層綠值得玩味,你說(shuō)是新的希望吧,永遠(yuǎn)也長(zhǎng)不出莖葉,慰藉而已。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/付光渝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">老井臺(tái)的皺紋里 水退</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一步 它就長(zhǎng)一寸</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">承載著風(fēng)雨與晨昏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> "老井臺(tái)"三個(gè)字指出了熟悉、親切和特指!"老井臺(tái)的皺紋",比喻新穎貼切!末行似還可升華提煉!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文 / 綠色</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不在乎是否被遺忘</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">默然守著寧?kù)o,回憶過(guò)往</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">只因懷揣一抹幽綠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 賦予人格,通篇謳歌其淡泊寧?kù)o的生活態(tài)度!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">小乙/遼寧</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">給石階著過(guò)綠裝</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">為小屋洇開(kāi)絨顏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">細(xì)節(jié),正沿著磚縫蔓延</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)人神思專(zhuān)注,有感而發(fā)!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂 箱 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/行天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">零污染的天然凈室</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">為野外忙碌后的居所 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">久藏芬芳記憶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 直接抒情,贊美密蜂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/康秀炎</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">即使被踐踏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">也要努力以一朵花的姿態(tài)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在青石板上書(shū)寫(xiě)傳奇</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 句式生動(dòng),語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔,立意耐品,"青石",青史也!</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雨灑第一季</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">隔山隔水隔陽(yáng)光,專(zhuān)營(yíng)綠地毯 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">常被踩在足下—— </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">卻把每個(gè)腳印,都繡成春天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">赤道雪域簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首行寫(xiě)外型,笫二行寫(xiě)苦難,第三行寫(xiě)樂(lè)觀向上的精神!</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/喜陽(yáng)柳保宅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">木板疊起小小城池</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">翅影進(jìn)進(jìn)出出搬運(yùn)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">暗格里釀著日子甜汁</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)人形象化寫(xiě)出蜜蜂進(jìn)出蜂箱的動(dòng)作。以“城池”喻蜂箱,“搬運(yùn)光”“釀甜汁”凝練蜂群勞作,將日?;癁樵?shī)意,以小見(jiàn)大。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/葦強(qiáng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)雨與陽(yáng)光</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">故事,交替出現(xiàn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">淚濕的印跡,何時(shí)可抹去</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 借苔痕寫(xiě)時(shí)光故事,留白“何時(shí)抹去”,余味悠長(zhǎng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/新</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">殘?jiān)?,漫漶流?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">裹碎花綠裙于根畔</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">舒展,鹿角蕨的優(yōu)雅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “殘?jiān)钡膱?chǎng)境讓人多少有些心酸,而“流年”又讓人感到無(wú)奈,詩(shī)人把苔痕比做“碎花綠裙”,融入“鹿角蕨的優(yōu)雅”,靜美中足見(jiàn)生命力。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/盧春杰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一點(diǎn)綠 一點(diǎn)綠 一點(diǎn)綠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">連起來(lái)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">就是一片春天</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 三個(gè)“一點(diǎn)綠”疊加成“春天”,以簡(jiǎn)馭繁,凸顯苔痕聚少成多的蓬勃。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">林漢梁/南昌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">以往的印記深深回憶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">她是那樣嫩綠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">如今已轉(zhuǎn)為鮮紅</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 詩(shī)人善于觀察,用色彩蛻變寫(xiě)苔痕承載的回憶,“嫩綠”轉(zhuǎn)“鮮紅”,暗含時(shí)光厚重感。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/執(zhí)著</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">不怨,日子過(guò)在不起眼之處</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">心向遠(yuǎn)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">——定會(huì),圓夢(mèng)綠色莊園</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “不起眼處”的苔痕“心向遠(yuǎn)”,托物言志,寄寓平凡中亦有追夢(mèng)的勇氣和力量。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/綠柳楓</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">木魚(yú)聲滾過(guò) </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">佛足印里 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鉆出幾星新綠 </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “木魚(yú)聲”“佛足印”富有禪意,末句中“新綠”破靜而生,禪趣與生機(jī)交融。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/老妖</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">窄小天地玄機(jī)暗藏</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">女帝以勤勞為本治理王國(guó)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">釀造世間頂極珍品</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">岐麟散人淺讀:</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句寫(xiě)出蜂箱的形態(tài),二句中“女帝”喻蜂后,末句中的“頂極珍品”顯蜂箱作用,視角獨(dú)特。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/觀海聽(tīng)濤</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">棋盤(pán)格狀藥柜里,裝滿忙碌</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一場(chǎng)春夢(mèng)將歲月攪動(dòng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">汗與淚的結(jié)晶聚到了何處</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句比喻形象,破題。然后寫(xiě)蜜蜂釀蜜的忙碌,以及奉獻(xiàn)精神,尾句一問(wèn),給人思考。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/岐麟散人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">石階上 洇染潮濕的光陰</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">淡綠色的筆跡</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">寫(xiě)出無(wú)人讀懂的年輪</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 想像不錯(cuò)。苔蘚生長(zhǎng)在潮濕的環(huán)境,也沒(méi)人去關(guān)注它的年齡,小人物的寫(xiě)照。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂 箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/晗羲</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">獨(dú)立國(guó)度里,女王君臨天下</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">臣民忙碌且井然有序</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">加工花蜜,國(guó)富流油</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 一個(gè)蜂箱,一個(gè)國(guó)。有國(guó)就有國(guó)的樣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/空谷幽蘭</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">從不抱怨生存逼仄</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">匍匐在陽(yáng)光背面</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">肆意流淌綠色的生命</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔蘚一旦有了情感,生命力也就強(qiáng)了。比較靈動(dòng)的一首。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/家鄉(xiāng)小河</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">風(fēng)沙裹挾的故事</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">似睡非睡,一縷幽香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">從地心升起</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句不錯(cuò),這“故事"只是開(kāi)了個(gè)頭,具體內(nèi)容由讀者補(bǔ)充。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> </span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/雪兒懷春</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">無(wú)懼孤獨(dú)意識(shí)上沒(méi)有炫耀</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">默默彰顯即便不被贊美</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">仍開(kāi)放個(gè)性魅力</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 苔蘚精神十足,還差點(diǎn)細(xì)節(jié)呈現(xiàn)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/往往醉后</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">潮濕的夢(mèng)</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">在老墻那裂縫處 發(fā)芽</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">卻把斑駁 繡成綠色詩(shī)行</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 語(yǔ)言優(yōu)美,表達(dá)流暢。苔蘚雖小卻有夢(mèng),人微又何必嘆言輕?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">蜂箱</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/故鄉(xiāng)人</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">移動(dòng)在歲月里的木屋</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">鳥(niǎo)語(yǔ),刷新日子</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">一朵朵生活,釀出了花香</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> 首句點(diǎn)題形象有趣。靈動(dòng)的詩(shī)語(yǔ),給生活添色增香。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">苔痕</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">文/墨客吟</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">借助外界的力量生存</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">時(shí)光喂養(yǎng)記憶</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">攀升價(jià)值,開(kāi)啟綠色生活</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">巴山一松簡(jiǎn)評(píng):</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"> “時(shí)光喂養(yǎng)記憶”,讓三行有了亮點(diǎn)。</span></p>