<p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">二零二五年六月下社課</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">要求：用平水韻十三元作五言律詩</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">收集簡評 ：唐嘉誠</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">刊頭題字 ：謝宗山</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">美篇編輯 ：趙以順</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block">?</p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙以順】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">登天門山</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">造化開天闕，嵯峨勢獨尊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">千峰凌碧落，一洞扼云根。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">樹老蒼苔厚，山高晝易昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">登臨窮遠目，浩氣滿乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：登高必賦，臨景有詩，極目遠眺，秀麗文辭。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">夏至未至二首</b></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其一</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">墟市門庭寂，蕭條少履痕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">年荒強作笑，夢遠易銷魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鵬鳥空馀志，蜉蝣安得存。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">長街行踽踽，暮色壓城垣。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">其二</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云沉四野昏，郁氣暗長吞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風碎梧桐影，夜寒黎庶魂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">愁多詩易老，夢斷月空存。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">誰解滄溟意，虱行裂厚坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：鄭巢經(jīng)有詩云“帝風稍轉(zhuǎn)即豐年”，誠如斯言。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【鐘華】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">悼 父</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鶴馭辭塵杳，哀煢咽未吞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">椿庭遺訓在，菽水舊痕存。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">杖履歸玄壤，羹湯寂故樽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蓼莪聲斷處，泣血立晨昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：想見音容云萬里，思聽教誨夜三更?？v然薄禮祀，哀不見親舉著嘗。椿萎萱茂，更應勤奉北堂。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明英】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">夏 午</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">暑氣蒸庭院，蟬嘶裂竹藩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">時時蛙合鼓，陣陣鳥爭喧。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">風懶窗邊息，花垂葉底怨。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">老慵何以遣，展卷覓清言。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：以動植物及風擬人，極具鮮活力。尤以“懶”、“怨”二字最佳，使得物呈現(xiàn)出人之嗔怪狀，為本詩中的點睛筆?！傲选弊钟糜谥穹?，是否有失穩(wěn)妥？</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【牟明鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">夏日驟雨有懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">驚雷震耳門，起看日昏昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨注傾天下，風輪卷地奔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">黃濤翻似海，黑木滾如豚。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云霽天開色，泥痕十九村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：倏忽之間，黨坊閭里，盡數(shù)為澤國。此后重建復原，不知要花費多少銀錢，但“天作孽，猶可違”，豈是你我輩能左右，徒有咨嗟數(shù)語，聊以紀事。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【謝 勇】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">乙巳年六月初四日姑媽九十二歲壽辰有寄</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">九秩新添歲，月光溢酒樽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">為言親厥弟，繞膝是諸孫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">舊德真堪敬，佐家猶有恩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">蒼天容老健，瀟灑向乾坤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：耄耋高壽，實屬難得。萱堂志慶，喜屆良辰。母儀足式，寶婺騰輝。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【唐嘉誠】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">椎拓杜紹甫先生手書其王父王母碑</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">驅(qū)車離小鎮(zhèn)，急赴入山村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">點點作噴灑，嘩嘩即走奔。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">赤衷誰氏鑒，青史或能存？</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">銳理有真意，尋求叩九閽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：拙作。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【祝西峰】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">又到石筍溝</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">?石筍巋然立，雙崖勢欲吞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">朝暾移樹影，暮靄接云根。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">鷺落波前渚，雞鳴岸上村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">磯頭收釣具，月伴晚煙昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：“尋得桃源好避秦”。石筍天成，沖霄而立，于此間垂釣，即可賞美景，又可足己欲。日出而作，日入而息，非三代之民可享，是謂“致堯則堯，致舜則舜?！?lt;/span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【劉先倫】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">參加源村“石匯天風”后謝答東君</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">旭日鑲高木，輕風不足論。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">驅(qū)車離石板，逐樂入源村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嘆舞拈鑼鼓，觀詩醉酒樽。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">歸來仍恍惚，渾若可重溫。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：詩酒不分家，此次詩詞集會，可謂盛況空前，但鑼鼓喧囂，似乎趨于不雅。許是“大白浮多了”，故而恍恍惚惚。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">聽雨有懷</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">窗外雨來喧，依稀漫水湲。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嘉禾承厚愛，駑馬信流言。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">預事常年變，修仙竟日煩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">但歌歸處去，摘葉在桑園。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：“嘉禾紫芝，天難與厥?！薄Ｒ簧ｑR不得閑，得閑已共青山眠。歸隱林下，終日農(nóng)桑之事，也成了一種奢望。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【趙學鵬】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">采風赴源村贈永豐詩社社長陳世界</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">行車經(jīng)古播，過嶺望源村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">水抱思情結(jié)，云堆想夢囤。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一溪存宿雨，滿載負朝暾。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">未待付詩稿，先來對酒尊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：尾聯(lián)為全詩最出彩之處，有“會須一飲三百杯”的氣勢，要干便干，酒要喝詩要寫。待酣暢淋漓，胸中結(jié)句自然吐露。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">?</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span></span></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【梁正森】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">在路上</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">連山圍老宅，流水繞孤村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">才過羊腸道，又攀牛耳墩。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">林花開總總，密樹視昏昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">回顧所來徑，白云已生吞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：君家住白云巔否？林間小道，險嶠難攀?！鞍自埔焉獭笔?，可改下為妙。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【文受剛】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">感 事</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">吾儕無所慮，歲月入黃昏。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">縱已師先哲，何曾益后昆。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">天涯家萬里，斗室酒三尊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">燒腦燒心事，端杯一口吞。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：“何以解憂，唯有杜康?！毕壬邢葐⒑?，既入耄耋之年，且身體康健，當少些煩惱，多點愉快。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【張 雨】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">散步經(jīng)田園有感</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">久于羈旅困，屬意向田園。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云晚蟲聲隱，風輕蝶夢翻。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">禪心方自靜，浮世亦何喧。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">一片素暉淌，朦朧溪上村。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：“小隱隱于野，大隱隱于市?！表氈[中取靜，方為大智慧。溪山行旅，更有古人之氣息。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【周國慶】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">聽古箏曲《歸來》</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">空山驚滴翠，鶗鴂幾聲喧。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">人在江湖路，神馳霜菊園。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">嘗思歸埜老，何計脫籬樊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">小駐聆云水，林梢隱月痕。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：“久在樊籠里”，不得返自然。空靈之音，總令人遐想多多，但身處于俗世，又有幾件事能稱心如意。只好細細聆聽，浸淫其間，尋求一個精神上的“烏托邦”。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p> <p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">【汪守先】</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><b style="font-size:22px;">應社課限韻作</b></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">詩成遒麗句，韻入十三元。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">細琢尋新警，長哦動素門。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">云山真有意，世道復何言。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">無事堪高枕，游情步翠軒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:20px;">評：轉(zhuǎn)眼間，播雅已是從一寫到了第十三個韻部。煉字煉句，挖空心思去寫，猶不能盡意，社內(nèi)同人當更加努力，方能“游情”。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p>