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寫給你的詩 | 逆著光

失獨媽媽萊菈

<p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我的影子，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">比我先醒。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">它穿著我的舊外套，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">熟練地，走向舊的街角，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">買一份從不加糖的報紙。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><br></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">它替我活著，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">用一種精準(zhǔn)的疲憊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">像一部循環(huán)播放的默片，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">所有的臺詞，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">都刻在空氣的灰塵里。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我只是一個觀眾，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>坐在自己的身體里。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">直到有一天，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">雨水沒能洗掉玻璃上的指紋。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我看見那枚指紋，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">像一個固執(zhí)的島嶼。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>我說，夠了。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">于是，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我開始練習(xí)一件小事：</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">在漲潮時，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">投下一顆石子。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">看漣漪如何與浪花爭吵，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">看我的倒影，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">如何被瞬間撕碎，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>又徒勞地拼湊。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我開始，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">在無人的曠野里學(xué)著迷路，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">把指南針交給風(fēng)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我對著空山呼喊，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">聽回聲，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>用陌生的口音，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">重復(fù)我的孤獨。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">這是一場沉默的內(nèi)戰(zhàn)。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我體內(nèi)的河流，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">試圖倒流回山脊。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">每一滴水都在反抗地心引</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">力，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">肌肉酸痛，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">像被億萬個微小的漩渦拉</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>扯。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">沒有人知道。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">他們只看到我準(zhǔn)時赴約，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">微笑，說“天氣不錯”。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">他們看不到，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我的腳下，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">是逆流而上時，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">被沖刷得光滑、</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>冰冷的石頭。</span></p> <p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">我不知道源頭有什么。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">或許只是更荒蕪的雪，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">和更徹底的沉默。</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">但我在走，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">用一種笨拙的全新的姿態(tài)，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;">踩著自己的影子，</span></p><p class="ql-block"><span style="font-size:22px;"><span class="ql-cursor">?</span>一步一步，逆著光。</span></p>